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Friday, October 21, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge - Always Look Behind

Another fabulous challenge from Rachael Harrie.  Here are the rules, followed by my entry:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

  • that it’s morning, 
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.

Always Look Behind

The sun begins to stretch wispy rays over the horizon.  Maria clutches her blanket around her shoulders trying not to shiver.  The tag scratches her neck, reminding her she should have cut it off. 
Her scalp is caked with sand.  Sleeping on the beach isn’t as glamorous as it seems.  What she’d really like is a steamy bath.  She inhales, wishing the scent of lavender bath oil was greeting her nostrils.  Instead, a putrid smell triggers her gag reflex.  She covers her mouth with her hand and crawls closer to the waves.  The fishy smell emanating from the wet sand is better than whatever she’d caught a nose full of.  Probably some rotting animal.  Anyway, she won’t remain any longer to find out.  He’s not coming. 
The golden orange light of the sun intensifies, driving home the point that she’s alone.  What did she really expect would happen?  Devon wasn’t a knight in shining armor.  How could he get away with picking her up and heading out of town, forever, while this godforsaken town snored and drooled in the moonlight?  It had always been a stupid idea.       
Maria buries her face in the blanket and rubs at the sand that has suddenly found its way into her eyes. 
She staggers along the shore, not knowing where she’s going, only that she isn’t going to come back. 
It’s a shame she doesn’t look behind her to find out what that smell is.  If she only turned around, she would see that Devon did arrive, as promised.  Only he has a knife through his neck and a note pinned to his shirt:  He can never have you now. –Your Guardian 
           As is, she wanders on, oblivious to the grave danger she’s in.

If you enjoyed this dark little tale, please head here and vote for it.  It's #94.  Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Oh creepy stalkers freak me out! Nice details & descriptions :)

  2. "Sleeping on the beach isn’t as glamorous as it seems."

    I know that all too well. :)

    Loved this. Very clear picture and nice cliffhanger. I'd keep reading. :)

  3. Deliciously dark and dangerous!
    Ooooh, I love the mystery surrounding your MC!
    (My entry at no.#47)

  4. So, what happens next? You created a vivid scene. At first, I thought it was going to be about a hopeless romantic forgot on the beach. I loved the twisted end.

  5. Creeee-py! Very descriptive & nice use of the words. If only... ; )

  6. Woah, great twist! Love the narrative voice :)

  7. This was so vivid! I was captivated from the beginning :) Wonderful job.

  8. Ohb that's not where I thought this was going. good job. Mine is #56

  9. Ooh nice and dark!! Great job! Loved your entry, you have my vote :)

    I'm entry #5

  10. Very creepy! Nice job.
    Mine is #25.

  11. Ooh! Good one! She's in some serious trouble now!

  12. you're right it is a dark little tale. You did good, I could feel her pain as I thought about her love not coming. Great job!

  13. Poor girl! And she'll never know... Great job!

  14. Oo! Dark and twisty, Sarah. I like it! :)

  15. Good job. Poor Devon unfairly maligned (and unfairly stabbed in the neck.

    (now following)
    Moody Writing
    no. 79

  16. Wow! That was intense. In an incredible way. Nice flash!

  17. Boy! that was very good, creepy, hope she gets home safely. Loved it. Mines #101

  18. Love the twist at the end. Very unexpected. Well done.

  19. Eeek! Scary. Hate it when they never see the signs ... like a smelly dead body right behind them!

  20. Anything unromantic will win me over! Interesting take.